Thursday, January 9, 2014

N is for Needy

Needy....what do you define as needy.  I don't want to blame anything on the recent snowstorm that we have gotten, but I feel like the kids have become very needy.  They are always asking for help in the most basic tasks....and we won't even get started on all the tangible items they keep begging for.

This concerns me.  I also don't want to be quick to say this, but it's almost laziness.  The things that they feel they "Need" help with recently is unbelievable.

Now those who may be new to reading our blog, we have 3 children diagnosed "officially" on the spectrum.  One of our children is not diagnosed on the spectrum, because I am weary of a misdiagnosis since she has severe ADHD and a mood disorder that could easily be something other than autism.  Anyway, our children do have "special" needs.  And I can understand that some of their uniqueness can make things difficult for them in some areas of life.  But we do work hard on life skills.

Lately though it seems that our 11 year old can no longer peel an orange....not a big orange that may be difficult for even an adult to get the "white" off of...but a plain old Clementine that is super easy for our now 6 year old to peel.  WHAT!!!  Or what about charging your own electronics....they know how to do this simple task.  We have made sure of that.

They have been asking for me to:

  • tie their shoes
  • plug in their iPads or DS game systems
  • change channels or movies in the dvd player
  • pick up their blanket and pillow from the floor
  • pour a bowl of cereal
  • pour a glass of cranberry juice
  • get their socks or clothes from their dresser drawer
  • Open their fruit snacks (before they even try)
  • bring them a snack off the snack shelf (because they are playing a video game they don't want to stop but they are hungry)

This is just a small list that I can remember as I type.  They seriously have been really "needy".  All the things listed above can be done, and has been done on a regular basis by the 3 older children.  I prefer to help the 6 year old a bit with the bowl of cereal or glass of juice, because sometimes the possible mess I may have to clean up is saving me time.  But I only help her when the milk or juice are freshly open and the weight of the container might be a bit much for her.

I try to remind myself that sometime in the future they may not want my help as much, but it's hard to keep reminding myself of that right now.  With Joe and I starting the new business, it's eating a lot more of my "free" time than I thought (and yes I just used that word "free time").  So I am trying to come to the realization that I am trying to balance getting a bunch done daily, and our house is always a mess.  I also know that it will get better, but the stress levels remain high while trying to get everything I know NEEDS to be accomplished done.  Great....more Neediness!!!

Don't get me wrong, I know there are still a lot of things I need to continue to help with.  We can also keep emphasizing as many life skills as possible.  I want to be here forever to help our kids....but we need to get through this new stage that they are all at together.  Because there is one of me and four of them.

Am I the only one who gets tired of hearing her name called some days?  Some days it takes all my strength to keep my patience, and I say many prayers for strength to move on.  Especially on those days where it's not only physical demands but them trying to split my attention four ways at the same time.  I feel those days are a constant sensory overload for myself.  My head is usually spinning.

These are the days where I try and hide for 10 minutes with a cup of hot tea, and make my goal to consume it all while it is hot!  I might sneak a snack too.  I notice that my blood sugar levels go wacky during stressful days like these.  But I try to keep processed snacks to a minimum in the house because of this.  I have fruits and veggies in the fridge or homemade healthy treats for quick pick me ups.  Sometimes I get lost for a few minutes in an online game and ignore the screams going on around me. If it's possible, I go and walk on our treadmill for 30 minutes with my music cranked up in my headphones. When it's not cold outside, I will try and go for a walk/jog.  But these are just some things that work for me.

Do you have any tips and tricks for those Needy days?

Linking up with other moms on Blogging through the Alphabet.

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