Sunday, October 5, 2014
I Am Not a Super Mom
I am not Wonder Woman. I am not a Super Hero. In fact, all my capes have rips and tears in them....so I wouldn't be able to fly if I tried. No I am just a regular and ordinary mom. The only difference being, I am balancing 4 kids that are considered special needs. That's daunting for most people to read, let alone live it.
Just like everyone else, there's food to prepare, house to clean, laundry to do, work that must get done. There's bills to pay, education to be completed, sports activities to get to, and oh yeah somewhere I need to fit fun into the mix...at least for the kids.
Daily I feel broken and beaten down. There are very few days where I do not hit the couch so exhausted in the evenings I can barely move. Throw an autoimmune disorder in the mix and .... well I am just plain exhausted.
Let me tell you a little about our kiddos.....
My 14 year old can just now microwave cook himself frozen mac and cheese. Some days I have to stare and watch him closely so he doesn't forget a step and burn himself. He does try to help out, but is easily distracted and goes from picking up toys to playing with them in just a few seconds. He then forgets that he even played with the toys an hour ago and complains that he is picking up toys that his brother was playing with (which his brother NEVER does). He doesn't remember what medications he takes and when he takes them. He doesn't read the med chart well enough for me to trust him to get his own medication. In the past we have had to call the pharmacy and the doctor's office because he took his pills and his brothers meds at the same time, just because I turned my back and he took both cups of pills on the counter that I was setting up. Want to talk about being freaked out!?!?!
My 12 year old has genius hid in there somewhere. If he was ever to unleash the great power we have seen glimpses of, we would be in serious trouble. We are talking Sheldon (from Big Bang Theory). But currently we are safe as he hides behind his video games and secret love still of Thomas the Tank Engine. We live with his daily food issues and number OCDs. Somedays he won't touch cheese and meat and the next day he wants extra cheese pizza and pot roast. We have to be careful how much medication he takes daily because if he gets the slightest bit too much, he goes from smiling and giggling to just a zombie. We watch carefully in situations where he is anxious and avoid them. If he is miserable, his OCDs kick in and he drives us crazy and no one can enjoy the situation.
Our 9 year old is high functioning. She enjoys horseback riding and music. She is finally reading after struggling for 3 years with the subject. When not medicated or on days when her body metabolizes her medication too quickly she can go from Sweet Princess to Demon Child in under 6 seconds. She can be a pendulum of emotion just flying back and forth and every time she strikes she leaves an explosion. Most of the time I am the brunt of her attacks. I am the mean one.....I am the one who makes her life miserable....I am the one to blame for everything. Daddy though is the saint...he can do no wrong. Her food issues cause me great stress. She is 9 years old and very skinny. Her doctor says she is ok, but I just strongly disagree that she is definitely on the low end of the growth scale. So we struggle with her only eating half of everything she touches. Some days she eats the whole thing, but most days it is a fight. I gave up on my strong beliefs against processed foods for them, just so I could get her to eat some things. Each day is a true struggle and battle of wills with her, whether it be to do her schoolwork or simply eat a Mac & Cheese cup that she picked out at the store. BTW...she is a sweet princess to everyone outside the house. She is polite and looks like the most well-behaved child that anyone has ever seen....lol. But I know the truth.
Our 6 year old is full of heart. She is so full of love, and she shows it. She wants to help constantly. It doesn't take much to discipline her and make her see the point of safety or being polite. She is opposite of her sister in this area. She tries so hard everyday, and she is my little learning library. She literally is like the robot from Short Circuit, Johnny 5. She craves input. She wants hands-on science and learning. She wants projects and lots of projects. Who knows if that will change, but I definitely over plan her lessons each week because if I don't she tells me she is bored. She struggles in reading, but excels in Math, Science and even History. She is the kiddo that tries to save the wooley worms from falling in a fountain or getting stepped on. She wants to see them eat and looks at dead bees under the microscope. She loves pretending to be Doc McStuffins. The only thing that she hates doing is glueing. She used to love glue, now she won't touch it if she can avoid it. So cut and paste projects I help her do. She also HATES clothes. We struggle daily to keep clothes on. She hates when I say she needs them on. I mean seriously...she has new clothes that we tried on in the store. I make sure they are not too tight, they are not itchy, yet I will walk in the living room and there she is in her underwear watching Transformers. I think she is taking after Daddy in that regard. I also have to make her get dressed for school and experiments.....because otherwise you would never see her picture on our blog...lol.
These are our kiddos. You might read some things and say, "Hey my kid is like that." And they probably are, but multiply it times 4....and life really is a daily struggle. I am not a super mom. I just deal with my daily hurdles like everyone else. You would be surprised what you get used to doing without even realizing it.
I saw this on Facebook the other day, and I thought......No I am not the World's Greatest Mom to anyone but my own kids. What works for us does not work for others. My job is to make an impact on my kids and help them with their lives.
Next week, I will post about our typical day at home.